delicate.

i can't think of anything else to do but this.

i need to let out how i feel because i really want to explode right now. all this music is making it worse, watching my cell phone on this stupid white stand is making me want to cry, and thinking about what i have said to you in the past is making me so anxious.

i hate that i have to second guess every single thing that i say to you. i hate it. i hate that i have to wonder if you are thinking about me, i hate that i have to wonder who else you are talking to, if you are doing this to some other girl also.

i hate that i haven't seen you in over a month, i hate that most. i hate that i hate that i hate that. all i could ever ask for is to see you tomorrow. i don't care what happens, i just want to see you and i need that so badly. so so badly it hurts me so bad.

i am just sitting here like a worthless pile and all i want to do is cry or have you walk in my door.

either one but preferably the second. i'm going to go insane.

you make me so crazy. you really really do. the worst thing is that you KNOW you make me crazy.

everything you say to me is just always so. ah.

things you say to me that i don't even tell other people. those are the real ones that get me. i just miss you so much. and not the stupid you

the real you.

the one i know, not this other one. you have been giving me the most mixed signals ever. more than any i have ever recieved in my life. i haven't cared for another boy like this until you.

i really really haven't. 

fuck my life. i sound so pathetic.

i don't think anyone understands this, which is okay. i just really had to write something about how i felt down somewhere and this was the easiest way. i just

asddddddkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

"why you tell me stuff that's so plainly untrue, if you'll be straight with me i'll be straighter with you. if you're all done like you said you'd be what are you doing hanging out with me? i've been wanting to do anything for a long time, but whatever you've got right now will probably suit me fine."

i just need a motherfucking hug from a motherfucking boy.

you kill me. you really really kill me. i don't even really think i have done a whole lot to deserve these feelings, if anything, i should be shooting this bullet in your direction BUD.

yeah. really. 

i can't stand this. like ynez said, something good has to come out of all of this right?

how can i feel all of this ache and have not one good thing come out of it?

i mean GOD.

JUST GET ON ME ALREADY BECAUSE I AM REALLY SICK OF YOU FLAKING OUT BUT SAYING THAT YOU WANT TO.

FUCK THAT.

sorry that one i really had to let out. i really had to.

none of this will ever make sense, i wish there was a bettter way to explain myself.

i am not in a good state right now. i am really really not.

i just want to be in love and have the favor returned.